Also here with Deline is her baby brother Tikhaia (Tik-HI-ah). He is an Alaskan malamute too, one and a half years old and completely lacking in dignity.
Q: So Deline, do you and your brother pull sleds?
D: We aren’t working class malamutes, and it would be way beneath us (well, beneath ME anyway) to pull a sled. We’re urban dogs.
T: We run in the country every weekend, and chase deer and coyotes and stuff…
D: …but then we come home and have Cumbrae Farms organically raised steak for dinner. Or roasted capon. Did I mention that the steak is dry aged for at least thirty days?
Q: What about you, Tikhaia - What do you like to do?
T: Eat. Bug the princess.
D: Chuckle
Q: You’re very patient with your young brother.
D: One must be tolerant of puppies. I believe that it’s our job, as adults, to guide them with a firm but gentle paw.
Q: He seems to be much larger than you….
D: Still a puppy, nevertheless. Mature in body, but not in mind.
Q: Okay then. So, I hear you have a new summer retreat. Tell our readers about it.
D: Last summer, our mom and dad bought us a lake. They seemed to think we’d be really happy about that. I have no idea why. We had to ride in the back of a smelly pick-up truck (with a cap on it so we can’t fall out) for SEVENTEEN hours, and then sleep in a crummy motel. Somebody had smoked in the room, and it was disgusting! The next morning, we got forced into this tin-can boat and I had to sit in a puddle for about forty-five minutes until we got to our estate.
T: It was so much fun getting there! I wish our mom would take the cap off her truck so I could jump out sometimes. The motel was great and we had pizza!
Q: What’s it like at your lake, Deline?
D: I think somebody needs to file a lawsuit. It didn’t have manicured lawns, it just had sand. I thought the lake itself was nice, until I found out that I was expected to drink out of it. Have you ever seen a leech? There were bugs and I got sand between my toes and I didn’t even get my own room!
T: It’s the best place ever! We got to ride in a cool boat, with the wind in our hair and everything. Then we saw our lake. Oh, man, was it neat! I got to swim in the lake with my leech friends, and the water tastes so good. Once for dinner, we had hotdogs! And the SAND! Oh, I love the sand! I can dig all day if I want! Once Daddy fell into one of my holes, and then he filled them all in, but I emptied them out again...
and then…
D: I believe I was speaking…
T: Oops, sorry.
D: Sorry, what…?
T: Sorry, Your Majesty. (Jeez.)
D: Anyway, as I was saying…
T: We chased a chipmunk!!!
D: … As I was saying, yes, there is vermin. The little wretch ate all but thirty-one of our thirty-three fresh blueberries. We had to discourage him.
T: You wanted to eat him!
D: I would never consume vermin!
Q: Okay, let’s move along. How are the accommodations?
D: Well….
T: It’s way cool! We have a cabin and everybody gets to eat and sleep in the same room!
D: No amenities at all… no air conditioning, no privacy, no running water….
T: We’ve got the whole lake! Why does it need to run??
D: It’s infested, that’s why!! Who knows what parasites we could get!
T: You’re an old lady.
D: You’re an idiot. Ow!!!
Q: What do you do there?
D: We are bored…
T: We swim and eat and dig and eat and chase things and eat and sleep on the beach!
Q: Any wildlife…other than the chipmunk, I mean?
T: Heee! Something big peeked at Deline when she was in the lake….
D: It was appalling! I was in the bath - so rude!
T: She got soooo mad! She barked at it and kicked up sand and stomped around!!!
D: And if I recall, YOU ran back to the cabin.
T: I was PROTECTING the cabin!!!
D: From under the bunk? Oof. Get OFF!!!!
D: One night, we heard wolves howling….
T: And you wouldn’t even let us howl back at them. Didn’t want to attract the riff-raff, you said.
D: Wolves are uncivilized.
T: Wolves are cool! Our ancestors were wolves!
D: We don’t discuss that side of the family.
T: Look at me, I’m a wolf!!! Snarl, Snarl, Snarl!
D: Cease and desist!
T: Grrrrrrr….snarl!
D: Stop it, you’re spitting on me!
T: Snarl, snarl, slather…
D: I’m warning you - let GO! You’ll be sorry!
T: Yeah, what are you gonna do to a WOLF??
And so, as our interview is declared a shambles, we eagerly await future stories of the adventures of Deline and Tikhaia at Petersen Lake and beyond!
D: That is it…OW.…now I’m mad!
T: OW!!! OW!!! OW!!! OW!!!! LEGGO!!! GET HER OFF!!!!! MOM!!!!! OWWWW!!!!!
